*** WARNING: THIS MAY SHATTER YOUR CHILDHOOD DREAMS ***
Folks, I have some sad news today. After falling sick at his Malibu home, Kermit the Frog was admitted to hospital this week with suspected carpel tunnel.
X-rays revealed the extent of the problem was far worse than first anticipated, showing conclusively that Kermit is, in fact, a puppet.
This news has shocked the world, with Pope Benedict even going so far as to resign the papacy in protest. “If we can’t believe in Kermit the Frog, who can we believe in”, the Pope said.
While Kermit had denied the rumours for years, this is the first conclusive evidence that Kermit was a puppet and he had been taking foam-enhancing substances for years. While Kermit denies the allegations, he has refused to comment publicly and will address the allegations later in the week on Oprah.
Kermit joins the likes of Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and Lance Armstrong, as childhood heroes that never really existed.
Inspired by the Muppets’ leading frog, Kermit the Frog.
